To ???!!!!!!
oh no! is coward!
dun even dare to put ur real name!
to you i doesnt need any explaination for you cos you doesnt even worth a single cent and !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
but since you're so children's thought i decided to tell you roughly.
to ur very childish and crazy act.
thanks ah, i dun need such a reader like you.
i dint lie to my boyfrien , i said evrysingle ting to him .
haha! even i go with whoever is my problem i tink is non of ur business right?
i and him just merely friends.
aint th bitchy you tink.
no matter who you're are aint my business cos i dun have any spare time for ur nonsense.
you have no right to judge me or anyone else especially those you dun even know!
come on la, you're the first person who spam my blog! childish!
cos i and her matter? god! SWAY lah!

if you feel that 我是一个徦惺惺
i aso have nothing to say,
i just feel that being with you .
i feel so suffocated sometimes.
cos no matter how i explained .
you will never understand.
cos ur mind will never turn th other way.
i feel so exhausted.
cos of you, i realise how fragile a friendship are.

i will never be two headed snake.
so tink wadever you likes.
is ur brain , ur mind.

like my boyfrien said,
dont bother anyting , would be th best.
now to me, even on th road got a very bitchy girl.
i aso willing to be her friend cos at least she is herself.
unlike me, seems wearing a mask.
mix arnd different kind of person.
trying to overcome those happened matter.
i just feel pathetic as i just started schooling not even half th yr.
ting had gone to tis stage.
wad about my 2yr course?
hahaha!

NOW! th most impt ting is my family, future and my beloved boyfrien.
th rest natural ba.

to ?? @ my cbox
i tink i know who are you.
you can never judge anyone especially those who are so unrelated to you.
thanks for ur comment.
i like it!
cos i definitely is a complicated girl..
hoping to be a simple girl.
since she couldnt accept such a complicated frien like me?
couldnt even be more understanding and forgiven.
i tink ive fully and totally defeated by true friendship cos of her.
i doesnt want any true friendship anymore.
i surrendered
i did not blame her.
just blame myself that i did not realise her thoughts earlier.
i prefer being cherish than making
so many explaination to no avail.
to no forgiven.
im tired.
you're definitely not th ONLY one who are sad over tis matter
cos wen im sad.
you know?
y you dunno?
cos i doesnt want you to know.
so wad you knew?
it helped?
hahahaha!

th END!

Time flies just like it happen ytd...
Everything had changed...
really hate myself for not cherishing time.
Things cant change back.. Can it ??
I want to meet the person
that can give me back my time
I need more time...

the times we spend tgt are memorable
and the jokes we laughed at.
the joy we shared,
are the best things in my life!
why is it everytime i try to love i fail.
mayb i wasnt meant to be a good friend.
fate is playing with me.
& i wanna prove i can withstand it.
the more i hope , the further the distances it goes away
so i choose to walk with myself instead.
so it will not give anyone burden or even troubles.

evryting seems so far away from me.
im simple a very simple girl who always live to herself.
i tends to find warmth at anyone i tries to love but end up to a failure.
been so many years.
i just doesnt want further quarrel or arguements
so i rather misunderstandings goes deeper.
i knows tis is an unright ways.
but other than that.
ive no choice to chose but to walk away quietly.

just like now,
ive given up true friendships.
i used to longed for a good sister , good buddy and even good friend.
even just one , im sastified~
but it doesnt success.
hahaha!
at here i would roughly talk about those misunderstandings.

To Qianru,
ive nothing much to say.
i know wad had happened years ago had made us turned tis way.
i doesnt want it too.
at that time , i only know i need to be the speaker.
was i being encouraged and so ive the guts to do it.
without urs support how would i dare when she was a sistas to me too!


To Jo,
I MISS YOU!
i miss those days we shared evryting.
even a little small topic.
kbox , shopping and even secrets.
i did not hate you,
maybe you're right.
i shld have let you tried.
my motive is to prevent you from hurting.
tat's all.
maybe im doing too much.
or even knowing you too little.
but no matter wad, i miss you and hope you are blissful.

To girl kel,
ya, maybe i really did not go into how you guys feel.
and tat time i dint not make myself very clear
hence, misunderstandings occured.
maybe those action and words had explained wad you've been tinkin all along.
so you tink im lying.
i did not hate or even blame anyone.
cos there no one faulty but me.
i guess should be th one who carry tis whole responsibility.
i left cos,
i really doesnt like th feeling being neglected.
seeing you but couldnt even talked to you much.
it's a worst torture.
ive tried to get nearer but i failed ..
im th bad person who makes you have this kind of troubles.
as you were merely concerning about me.
yet i did not notice.
haha! im such a slow catcher.
alright. i tink that's all.


all tis is totally have th feeling of "same script, different cast."
luckily, ive a best boyfriend and best father in th world.
maybe my dad was always not beside me
so i tends to treat wadever shit like real.
dad, i miss you.
and my dear,
luckily you're understanding otherwise
i will have no motivation to carry on for my life.

now i only know ive to look ahead and
having friends like nobody business.
is true friends or not.
it was not my concern anymore.
cos i really have lose all th confidence.
ive lost to myself totally.
giving so many chances to myself but im stil hold nothing on it.
so let ting be tis way will be better.


ok, i tink ive enuf of tis already.
i will not mentioned it ever again.
i will just treat that it was my lesson for friendships.
been so many years ive been wasting time on it.
or maybe ive get into r/s too early so i seems treating evryone like my boyfrien.
i dunno...

sorry did not blogged for so long, cos i really have no mood.
did not find my way out, i guessed.
now, aint th way i want
but at least im still arnd th world hoping for future.
as i dun want to fold my heart bathing in th rain.
hence, the best way to overcome fear is by facing it head on.


the funniest ting was, evryone seems asking me.
am i quarrelling with my boyfrien or stuffs?
or even not being tgt????
hahah! i can say is getting better.
and more cosy and lovely.

guess wad, i pass him the present today, he appreciate it..
was suprise too, i guess.
but sad ting was he couldnt wear cos he grew fatter,
last time i used to but tis size for him.
but now cannot wear alr.
fatter than my bf ..
but the figure stil the same..
strong wf muscules. hahaha =DD

after th meal and birthday cakes sort.
while walking i called my bf to fetch me @ eunos there
cos by th time i reached ther no bus for me to go home.
heng ah, my bf knows how to drive and got car.
hahah otherwise i have to walk home.. hahah
jkjk i know know there's transport call CAB~ hahah =D

on way back home,
i received elaine's msg saying she misses us alot.
she was th one who transfer to PS and
yvonne had handled in her resignation form.
Fuck sia~ evryone leaving. i see jerlyn face expressison..
she seem unhappy wf our new in-incharge, daniel.
ya, i today aso abit unhappy wf him.
i doesnt want break cos i was not hungry and waste money and waste time.
he say even i dun go, he stil wil deduct my one hour.
cb y got tis kind of ppl de?
company save cost, then dun hire Part Timer lah. SIMPLE right?
anyway, after that im fine alr.
is alright wf me, cos i just want to make a proper use of my time..
that's all..
tmr got anthr new in-charge, RICKY~
who sia~
also, i miss my previous senior, ELAINE and JULIAH~!!
that iqah aso say that if jerlyn gg she aso leavng.
wah lau~ left me>?
actually stil got one more which is ernita. hahah=D
she must be someting wrng ,
off day come back to shop walk. hahah
during work walk not enuf?
no idea lah, tmr after work gg amk hub..
do my necklace.
being spoiled since dunno when..
who ask me bathe so violent.
accidentally pull so hard. i must be crazyy..
luckily previously got one .. otherwise i no necklace wear~
anyway, both are my dearest dear buy one.. weeheee

few days to school reopen..
is a goood ting or bad ting,
i wil accept it sincerely wf cherish.
ppl tend to say, life is on our hands..
yupp indeeed, all tis have to depends on wad gg on right?
how we loook at the matter or situation and even scene..
so i will look forward and not backward anymore.
life can be both happy and unhappy..
is all depending how you look into it..
and how you want ur days to be..
happy or sad~?
depends on yourself...



(rock my world again and you get more better than that)

today is two of my ex-bf birthday~
i rmbr so clearly cos im once before wf them lah hahah =D
anthr one is been almost gg tgt wf him almost gg 3years of cos wil rmbr somehow right.

today on my way to meet cyrus pass him ting, i saw dayan! haha =D
i inside the bus , he at bus stop.
i find him fimilar so keep staring at him.
he saw me and waved lol. so ps. hehe =)
after that, wen i was on my way back home just now, i saw cyrus, mok and yang inside the bus. tis time they were inside the bus , i was at the bus stop hahah =)
so concidence right hehe =D

sian lah, my job ah, i loved lo!
but today th new in-charge came,daniel.
he talk to me and iqah personally ..
he seem okay to me.
just dun make my life tough can alr.
the worst ting was jerlyn say that the shop in-charge changed too..
was JOYCE..
she was strict and will not give you any faces if you do smth wrng or smth doesnt suit her rights.
she ah, very ma fan..
i haven seen her before then she pass dwn words saying..
mirror must evryday clean, floor evryday mopped .. the rest as per normal la.
actually the floor and mirror doesnt need to clean it evryday. but cos is her order so... no choice.
and my schdule given suck man! cos daniel say must cut cost. economic bad.
if previous in-charge ,juliah stil arnd.. my whole week is full unlike now.. sian sia.
i prefer keep me busy than make myself so free..

ive to go zz alr. tmr have to go my bf hse,
cos my long pant @ my bf hse. fuck la, have to change lo.
tis one dat one. making me mad. LUCKILY, i stil can take it. will not give up so easily.
LASt but not least, today i sent some msg to my dearest only fio and derrick replied.
just wanna say thanks~ it may not be much but at least i have someone replied. =))

i hope that the SOMEONE who uses my bf's blog link thru my blog can stopp it right away!
i doesnt need you to be my reader! tis aint foryou.
TRUST ME , i hate you to CORE!
VSWL! short form of ur full name..






girl kel! maybe just few months aint able to let ppl to know each other well .. definitely, a hi-bye friend aint a good solution hence, i doesnt want it too..
touch your heart , dun you feel our distance getting further? aint our feeling getting bad to worse .. it's so aching, you know? .. i really love you all! i miss our laughters ..
i miss evryting we done tgt. our crapx . our jokes.. our common topic..
if yr mentioned is truth. i tink for those hating me.. just let them be..
ive no explaination towards anyting already.. wanna trust me, wanna believe me.. is your own choice. all i can say is i LOVE YOU ALL ! NO LIE!!



LASTLY, TRANSFORMER ROCKS! NICE! MARVELLOUS! GO CATCH IT!! =)

ytd on the bus , i was brought back to past. cos i realise myself missing my friends'
especially my school friends.
it's a due to friendship.. all wf no explain aft a misunderstanding..
maybe i doesnt want to create further misunderstanding so i dunno wad to say to them..
dunwant to push blames and even fault to anyone, i rather i takee up all the causes.
one day pass one day.. one year pass one year..
all my motive is just cos of you all.. defintely not for myself.. but ended up i seem the main cause.. so i left them one by one..
rmrb that time , i had a sistas' grp , i had a sister closer than real-blood sister and now, QB grp.
who am i now? i had trying to do the best to best , but i tink i failed..
i really have lost faith to do anyting alr... trust me, i always try to cherish all of you..
tis really aint wad i really want.. ting goes tis way aint my wish too..
hahaha! anyway, now no point of blaming right? i dun want create more and more tings.. really.
im so afraid of losing ting alr. i prefer treasure than holding so long yet still empty..
maybe a hi-bye friend would be the best solution for all of us..
i doesnt want it that way too..
but i really really cnt afford to face fail situation all tis anymore..
im lost..



my job turn, ahem! my 1st in charge is changing soon.. frm a girl change to a guy named daniel.
dunno he fierce not.. haha~ hopefully evryting goes smooth smooth okay. haha =DD
i always get alot of funny ting especially my shop's door. the door do not have sensor if you come in frm outside .. you have to press.. there got write and ppl are stil very the TOOT* .. you know y i say so? cos they knock the door! they push the door .. not only that they wave at us.. ask us to open the door. hahahhahahahahahahahah!!! got alot of ppl very poor ting wen the door gg close soon.. ppl stil walk in then tio kiap! poor ting sia! i can help sometimes only, cnt be always right .. ive to busy wf my stuffs too.. rmbr i worked for 2week gg 3 week.. the door spoiled once alr. that reall terrible right.. dunno how they use the door sia.. haha =D

back to my life again. wooh! cyrus so clever! he msg me to go for enrollment. heng ah, i today off.. he really lucky man! cos other friend last min say, i counldnt make it due to work. sorry.


(PS: i miss you guys, QB!)

i enjoying my job right now but who knows today the company fax one news over, saying some of my senior wil be transfering! and one of them is the very nice girl , 27 but doesnt look like~ she is transferring to PS omg! i aso want go there.. sad ting is she was sick today! i tink her flu virus has pass to me.. cos she keep talking to me..arnd 7plus my nose itchy too! until now.. i sneezing~ hahahah =DD

hahahha~ my dear's column.. he's worrying me some how. refuse to see doc after he felt itchy.. count count, now alr gg 2-3 weeks then he sher de go see doc tmr and one good news is monday im gg out wf him again.. hahah we might always stay tgt and able to see each other for 24/7 .. but rarely go out.. first, lazy second, waste money.. hahaha~ third, nt free lah hahaha =)
i and him dunno how come suddenly lovely .. if ppl doesnt know , they might tink we just start to stead.. hahah =D sweet dao cannot lah! but i loved it hehe!

& last but not least my dad is BACK!! i misses him too!!!

one last ting was, weiwei's show i fnished!! so touching so nice!! weiwei thanks ah! thanks for telling me ther's such a show.. and my show ID精英 updated 16-18! woohoo!! cool man! ytd i managed to watch finish and today got new esp! cool man! if Funshion got 阮经天 new show it would be so so so MARVELLOUS man !

i MISS my DEAR!!!!
im now tired, hungry and missing him badly~~

just now at inter waiting for my dear. i was replying one of my girl.but the mssg i read at inter, makes me have alot of tot. which made my tears rollingg inside my eye balls for awhile. end up it just simply drop dwn just like tat.. it just couldnt control it.. tat time,i was hoping my dear to come faster so tat i can hugg him tightly.. no need to pour anyting sorrows just a warmth hugg will do.. but im afraid tat after i hugg him i wil just cried out and at that time he would keep asking the reason.. and i wll dunnoo how to put it and tell him .. at that moment i feel so lonely and helpless .. i couldnt find someone to feel any warmth..


anyway, 1 day and my dad will be back! wahahaha =DD
sad i have to work and have no time for him.. mayb next week.. ive requested to my manager..
heheh~ so happy i and my dear seems getting sweeter and sweeter.. both of us feel the same way..



(PS: i love you girls! really! i hope we would get better after our vacation)

im speechless after i read one of my girls' blog.
i really have no idea , how much disappointment ive for you all..
let me tell you i and him is stil friends aint the way you tink. really.
i did not lie anyting abt that day ..
he's just merely passing me my blanket.. nthh much.
i really dunno wad to say anymore..
just want say a SORRY .
i know tis might not be good one but other than tis..
i really dunno wad to do alr..
hais

well well well..
wad ever you want to do suit you.. i will not bother...
you want try , as you wish..
i really dunno wad to say further..
you say that i dint contact you but did you ever tink y izit so? HA!



bring back to my life,
woohoo.. guess wad, im both enjoying my holiday and earning money..
hahhaha =D just finish chalet and i have to start work heheh =) cool man! hahah =D
just very sudden.. cos i went to interview on wed , noted on thurs and fri start workk..
wosh! i almost have no time to prepare.. heheh =)
my dad is coming back soon... i miss him!
nowadays, i and my boyfrien go work tgt and knock off tgt.. although i start work 15 mins later but end earlier than him abit.. but i can feel that we are so lovely and happy..
shall wf you smth interesting.. my dad and my boyfrien's dad father's day's present is the same ..
exactly the same except for size hahahah =DD so cut hor hahah~
i and her sister bought it in purpose..
tinkin if oneday they wore the same and came out for dinner jiu die lliao hahahha =DD

i just feelin that i doesnt belong to them anymore cos of i aso dunnoo..
they doesnt likes me? or just doesnt treat me like family? i dunno..
seriously i wanted to enjoy my chalet,
but after tonight i realise i have no funs at all anymore. i told them that do not call me mummy again mayb i feel that i doesnt fit to do that.. hmm.. secondly im happy they keep finding me although that moment i wanted a real peaceful mind to tink.. but ... no matter wad, they are simply so cute, thanks and i loves you all.. mayb you guys were tinkin how come i will have tis kind of idea.. but those disappointment aint you guys can feel.. anyway is not the first time i can feel it.. just sad i guess.. no feeling better.. hahahah =DD let my off be a beautiful one.. heheh =)

oh yeah one last ting i want vent out otherwise ahh.. i dunno wad i will do wenever i tink of it..
i today on the way home, listening peacefully wf my mp3 lah. then got one old man and auntie INDIA! black ppl ! i called them 'ANTS' that was created by my boyfrien's sister .. if im nt wrng. i aso forget lah. anyway, they on their india song.. is not common right. very rare ppl wil understand then they on until very shuang. i cannot take it la. i tot awhile they wil switch off.. who knows! okay , so i went up talked nicely ask them lower their volumes for their song.. you know wad the uncle say?
uncle: ah, cannot cannot(in a very slang manner, i tink due to their languages)
me: you are disturbing ppl...
uncle: i nver disturb myself [ (@@"") i dot dot! wad is he talking?? ]
me: disturb ppl, can lower or swtch off??
uncle: cannot cannot. cannot swtch off.. cannot lower.
me: (tinkin wth! cannot swtch off????????) then switch off ur pone lah!
uncle: cannot canot!
me: (pissed off!) very noisy! swtch off!
anutie: shake her hands saying no no!!
uncle: shut up lah. cannot cannot. dun talk so much...

then being irritated right !!!
they cannot understand me, i cannot understand them so action is the best!

me: i tinkin no use talking right so i take out my pone play chinese song.
uncle: (awhile later) bagus bagus!
me: of cos, nic song right.
me: need me send you ?
uncle: talking to auntie dunno wad lah .. too soft! otherwise i aso understand lo! cfm talked back!

they gg alight,

auntie: you're lucky, we gg dropped.
me: (drop? alight ba.) you tink i scared?
anutie: (very bu shuang replying..) i never say you scared.
me: then wad? dun alight lah! (i tinknin so disturbance! better alight la.)
anutie: dunno say wad.. (too slang)

then they alight after that. fuck angry lah! BLACK ANTS!

i hate black ants! make me scared only cos walking cross the void deck to school during my sec school time.. almost evrymorning! they PCC there!! kns! tink back aso scared! different ppl so more! make my eyes dirty! FUck !@#$%^&*(#$%

yoyo im back frm outside hahah =D
was wf bbt to kbox also, mok and other friends at kallang leisure park. haha =S
before today, meaning ytd lah, i was wf her* went to PC show. heavy traffic .. omg la. hard to walk never mind, very hard to talk too.. laast day marhs, so evryone trying to promote their stuffs and using speaker and shouting / yelling bla bla.. eventually, we have funs cos we were talking craps bla bla.. hahah =DD today, i aso very enjoyed too!! very happy cos he was my sec frien then quite a long period dint contact, today went out the feeling are stil strong , i mean friendship la. hahah =D tmrr wahahahah =D
im awaiting for tmr clubbing hahahah =D i miss that first and last time i went to wf my other frien hahah =S tmr is a brand new day for me! hehe =)
seriously, i abit lazy to blog lah. but just roughly okay, hahah =D
i just enjoyed my days! really! hope evryting wil be fine for me! God Blessed!
oh ya! the most sian and dishearted ting is i and my classmates intend to go kbox tmr. but CANCALLED! HAIS! okay th end bye bye loves loves~

yoyoyoyoyo!!! im back!!
today feeling nt bad.. hahaha
morning wake up on lappy and start my show after that.. same rountine..
all i can say nahs, same sia! no life until shangyi msn me.. he date me .. JOKING@@
how could it possible. he was saaying he's boringg bla bla... chat awhile den he decide to go niam's hse. after that we arrange for the time to meet up.. i was told before i leave the hse must boiled the water .. so i while boiling , and looking for clothes to wear hahaha!!
look at the time! i was late omg! gonna late for it.. so i hurried myself then quickly take bus..
i msg him saying i left the hse bla bla.. you know wad, i saw him at 121 waiting for bus.. i msg him saying i saw him and he very funny lo.. asking me 8 can reach mehs? cute sio.. study there so long aso dunno hahah =S anyway.. we saw each other after that..
we waited for anther bus .. on the way talked and talked.. hahaha!
after we reached his hse.. niam say his rounter is not at home cos of his cousin.. hahahha =D
den they decided to cab-bed dwn to cy's hse and borrrow ... i went up and take.. shangyi was in the cabb hahah i was running hahaha~ then reach niam's hse, he ask me whr is mt adapter.. haah DIAO! i forget it! i dnt knoe need that adapter.. funny sia. so end up no internet hahhaha!! we watch movie thru my lappy and chit chat bla bla.. arnd 5 plus tzyy ian came, she bought foods and drinks up.. we continue our show then we left the hse dunno at wad time.. shangyi was damn hungry, keep hurried us for dinner.. got alot of funs in details.. lazy to say la. hahah =D just a fun day ive.. i can say.. it's getting late.. blog tmr ! loves! =S

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